“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” - Socrates
I feel like a builder without an architect. Where are the plans? How can I build it if I don't know what IT is? If I do manage to build it, who will come?
Living a life it turns out is more and less than I originally thought it was. Actually, when I was a younger woman, I didn’t really give it a lot of thought. I was too busy focussing on my ambitions. I had dreams to dream you see. Those dreams I chased drove me to be pro-active, prepared, focussed on the future. Surely I didn’t want to focus on the past. I wanted to overcome it. I wanted to get beyond it. I needed to be more than that. Looking back was a lot of painful. A lot of not quite making it, not quite catching my dreams (any dream) and a lot of loneliness too. You with me? Yeah, I know, ironically, I am not alone in my loneliness. Well people, we can’t fight our past. It’s only memories now. And those memories only hurt us if we give them power. If we keep the conversations going inside our head and heart, we keep dragging all that crap forward into the Now (don’t you just love Tollé!) and that is not living; that is selective re-living that keeps us stuck. Have you noticed that when we're stuck, we don’t focus on the good stuff in the past, but the “wish it didn’t happen” and the “this makes me feel bad” stuff. My super great sister (everyone should have one - biological or spiritual) gave me a lovely Kuan Yin journal to write in. So I am going to write. I don’t know what I will write, but I promise I will share some of my revelations with you. Why? Because I realized (real-to-my-eyes) this morning, that when I wrote my blog every day (in the past that has been become wisdom), I felt better. I was able to tackle my challenges and I felt in control. Maybe, because writing for me, like all my creative endeavors, happens completely in the moment. There is another me that is present. I have to get out of my head or the black hole of unproductive sucks me into its dark abyss. Whoa. That kind of stuff can make you sick. Let's not go there anymore. OK?
I decided one thing I will do is to write to build my new. Will you read? Will you write to me too? I know you’re out there. Since we’re all connected anyway, do what is your new too. Put it out there because you never know how you can inspire another. Let's keep it going :D
This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!